I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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