I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
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