yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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