lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
