So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
did i just pee glitter
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
