She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
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