Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
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