i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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