I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
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