all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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