The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Even my vagina gasped.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
