i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
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