We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I checked into jail on foursquare
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Randomize
