I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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