whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
This is my gift to your gina
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
