His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
well, you know. whores of a feather.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
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