THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
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