i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
