i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
