I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
he puts the penis in happiness.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
