was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Randomize
