I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
