I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
