i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Ambien. No doubt about it.
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Randomize
