I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
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