Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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