Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
You are a genius and a whore.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
