Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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