I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize
