I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
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