There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Randomize
