I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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