from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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