Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
