Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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