Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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