Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Randomize
