i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
