So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
