You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I feel like death gave me a hand job
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
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