Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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