"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
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