I think i sorta joined a cult last night
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
