I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Randomize
