Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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