Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
She's the barista slut.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
