I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
