FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
