from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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