So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
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