It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Bring me that man meat
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
